The last few years in my dance musical reality life: Cue the music...I KNOW you got time to listen/read/enjoy...
Last couple years my mantra has been and kinda still is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs0g6yL6kDc
with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-_NNIX8cDA
and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1HwwTsmOTo
and, to get it all out, I was writing stuff like this:
Life’s Lament (In homage to Funeral Blues by W.H. Aulden)
The day being strong
turns one to stone…
The time the dog
turns from a juicy bone…
A favourite song…
misunderstood.
When nothing now comes to any good.
Let the hopeless go…towards our tomb
Ignore the sound of the lock that seals the room
Turn on the taps, let the bathwater run
Let the river of dreams meet the setting sun
Allow steam and shame to fill the space
Immerse in the water, hands to face
Do not stop the clocks, let them sound the hours
While the water cools and the body cowers.
Be with the time that mourners know
A bit of solace from “the letting go”.
Once I believed
in love and laughter
Thought all would end happy
…ever after
But I was wrong.
It ends like this:
“Hold razor in shaky fist.”
Nothing now can or would
ever come to any good.
Run your bow across your violin.
While I run this razor across my skin.
@anythingprose.com
Because so much HAPPENED...I felt so lost when my best friends took their life and felt like that would be my future too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwc85qWFoqU
and I picked up my pencil again to try and make sense of life and wrote:
It
It can come without warning.
It we cannot outrun.
We can’t even see it.
Only see what its done.
Silenced by its power
It has to change lives,
From one that enjoys life
To one that merely survives.
No notice.
No pact.
There is no choice
Except how to react.
Those that remain,
Forced to decide,
If their souls go on living
Or dying inside?
Death shakes all our hands
And it never really lets go.
How clever it is to know us
Before it even says hello.
Ah, yes! Death becomes us.
And so much more.
Welcome to after
and the birth of before.
Then there was the loss from a break up which I never saw coming, kinda like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PisXPudOVXs
So, I closed down a bit cuz I needed to not because I wanted to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtTgtwW07y8
and, found my pencil and my muse and penciled this into my collection after listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWa-mEliSmY:
Together (The last poem)
Did you?
I did.
and I don't think it was foolish, waylaying my pride for you.
You asked to give you more
I did.
In hindsight, I did my best and I did everything you asked,
I did everything
but stay.
And now,
this is the last poem...for you
but, it is not the last poem about you.
I'm not sure about you really but I thought about it many times
I did.
I'm not sure you really took the time to understand the nuances
What we hid
I did.
We can burn a candle at both ends for only so long.
And we can apologise.
I can apologise.
You can apologise.
You can
Say anything.
but it no longer helps...there is no nurturing...no reconnect.
But, you can
say anthing.
Keep saying...keep letting it out...light that candle of discontent
again and again
Keep the questions coming.
Keep up the communication.
The plee's.
Say anything to keep the fire burning...
I did.
and when there is nothing left
take a moment
look around
take in the surroundings
the house we called home
the bed we made together
and the writing on the wall
and realise
"together" has no "u" in it.
I did.
@anythingprose.com
Of course, then, time ticks on and I'm still here so, of course, there is therapy and I got instilled with this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aUQBFLlby4
and realized: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtAMrPJg75o
So, around the last month, my chest was getting puffier and there was this feeling:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gOHvDP_vCs
Now there is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4eMyOzD9UI
and looking to the future: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV-Z1YwaOiw
and continuing on:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW1dbiD_zDk
with less of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiSzBmyX4eQ
and more of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aqLwHP4y6Q.
Looking back, I realised that I am
Unpure
I am unclean, I am unpure
I was given this existence
I am looking for the cure.
Have we
missed the reason
in being human?
Why do we
use it
as an excuse?
Why does the rattle we’ve been handed
Look so much like a noose?
When we are challenged beyond the limits set forth
And we see the distinctions clear
When we reach out for the rattle…
Surprise! The noose appears?
No longer a willing participant
I’ve ripped the needle from my vein
I am running towards myself these days
And welcome the insane
I am breathing
I am so calm
I am the one who is examining
life’s daily going’s on
The limits I live within
Are the one’s I’ve redefined
I still have other intentions
In the workings of my mind
But I pursue a balance
The same for you I hope
What are you pursuing these days?
the rattle?
or the rope?
You are unclean,
You are unpure,
You were given one existence
Just look and you’ll find more.
@anythingprose.com
I realize that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDe2TKH5PGQ
but I know I am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_1A6dJSLCY
and I just wrote this about all that:
Growing
Understanding that you are the captain of your ship and the master of your soul.
Speaking the positive intent in the world, one’s self and others.
Realizing it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts, but only how did you react to it?
Believing, in spite of everything, people are still good at heart.
Listening to understand, rather than respond – because you now realise even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Thinking of all the possibilities but not making thoughts your aim.
Knowing that even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Adopting a mantra to give you strength, when things seem worst you mustn’t quit.
Finding your voice which resounds out to your oppressors, …still I rise!
Growing into that every man in arms should wish to be.
Has music been there for you? Please post your story.